You might be a high-tech Redneck if...
*If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."
*If the sticker on your computer says, "My other computer is a laptop."
*If your laptop has a sticker that says, "Protected by Smith and Wesson."
*If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.
*If your wife said either she or the computer "had to go," and you still don't miss her.
*If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."
*If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.
*If you start all your e-mails with the words: "Howdy y'all!"
*You've ever brought your laptop to a Tractor Pull.
*When you're honked off at your computer warranty because it doesn't cover damage from "Bovine Saliva."
*When your computer toolkit contains a pitch fork.
*When your MS-DOS boot menu contains an entry called, "Cow Tipping Configuration."
*If you've ever been to "http://www.hee-haw.com."
*When, in a pinch, you use your laptop battery to jump-start the Combine.
*When you have 17 different versions of DOOM, but you still can't write your name.